I think I
by lilswimmer
Summary: had to increase the rating and this could be that last chapter sorry :
1. Chapter 1

I think I've already lost you  
I think your already gone  
I think I'm finally scared now  
you think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong  
I think you're already leaving  
Feels like your hand is on the door  
I thought this place was an empire  
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

Charlie lay in bed trying not to disturb the sleeping form of Ruby next to her, she couldn't sleep she didn't sleep anymore. All she did all day and all night was think about Joey. Just the knowledge that she was asleep in the next room, in her room made Charlie's head spin. She couldn't get Joeys smile out of her head all she could see whenever she shut her eyes was Joey standing before her on Alf's boat. That point as their hands intertwined she knew that she couldn't hide her feelings couldn't push them to the back of her mind any longer. She was in love.

I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - I think too much  
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

Joey punched the pillow trying to make it more comfy, she just couldn't sleep she could never sleep the knowledge that this was Charlie's room and she was the other side of the room messed with her head just too much, she hated the fact that Charlie had finally realized there was something between them but she kept running, not knowing if she would ever by ready.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
Cuz there's a little bit of something me  
In everything in you

Charlie sat up in bed hugging her knees close; she let out a sigh running her fingers through her hair she looked at the clock. It felt like she had been laying down for an eternity but only fifteen minutes had passed not quite knowing what to do with herself but deciding it was to unfair to stay in bed disturbing Ruby she climbed out slipping her dressing gown around her she headed to the kitchen.

I bet you're hard to get over  
I bet the room just won't shine  
I bet my hands I can stay here  
I bet you need - more than you mind

Joey heard the door to Ruby's room open, for a fleeting moment she hoped that her door would open a Charlie would slip through the gap, when she heard the tap running in the kitchen she realized how stupid that would be.

I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much  
I can't relate and that a problem I'm feeling

Charlie sipped at her glass of water in the moon light setting the glass down in the sink she let out another sigh, she headed slowly up the stairs her hands shaking slightly with what she had decided to do. Reaching the landing she looked at the two bedroom doors.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
Cuz there's a little bit of something me  
In everything in you

Joey heard someone on the landing trying to ignore the thought of Charlie wondering around in her nightdress she rolled over turning her back to the door.

Charlie rested her hand on the handle turning it softly letting in a slither of moon light in to the room.

I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life  
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much  
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

As light filled the room Joey rolled over looking back at the door, her breath was taken away by the sight of Charlie silhouetted in the white light. Unable to believe how beautiful she looked and the fact that she was standing in her bedroom.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
Cuz there's a little bit of something me  
In everything in you

Charlie slipped into the room closing the door behind her "Joey, you awake" she whispered stepping forward to the bed. Joey sat up letting Charlie know that she was up, Charlie was at the edge of the bed looking down at Joey. "I... I, I can't sleep" was all Charlie managed to get out she had wanted to say so much more but couldn't find the words.

Expecting Joey to turn round and say what do you expect me to do about it Charlie couldn't help but smile as Joey folded back the covers and scooted over, lifting her arm slightly. Charlie climbed into bed, her bed slipping her arm under Joey's back she curled into the Joeys side resting her head against Joey's shoulder. Wrapping her arms around Charlie, Joey couldn't believe this was actually happening and when she felt small butterfly kisses being planted on her neck and collar bone she couldn't help but hold her breath. Putting her hand under Charlie's chin Joey tilted her head so that their eyes met.

"Charlie what are you doing because I can't, I can't wake up in the morning and find you gone that this was all a dream."

Charlie pushed herself up so she was level with Joey, "this isn't a dream" and she leant in and kissed Joey letting their foreheads rest against each other "I am in love with you, I just I don't know what that means or how to deal with it."

"Charlie I love you too, you know that and I'm sorry I know I pressured you and that you need to do this in your own way and time but please don't shut me out."

Charlie brushed Joey's cheek wiping away the tears that had started to fall "I won't." Shuffling down in bed Joey replied to this by kissing Charlie more passionately they both women ever thought was possible. Rolling on top of Charlie Joey began kissing her letting her tong explore Charlie's mouth properly for the first time, running her hands over Charlie's body kissing her way down Charlie's neck and collar bone. Every time she had to come up for breath she would say "I love you". Charlie was completely lost in Joey; the only response she managed to give back was a moan of pleasure, and rubbing her hands up and down Joeys back. Finding the soft skin below Joeys vest top, too much to handle Charlie started to lift the top up pulling it over Joeys head. Joey stopped pushing herself up off of Charlie.

"Are you sure?"

Charlie just nodded unable to speak; Joey pulled her top up and began to pull Charlie's off covering the exposed skin in kisses delighting in the goose bumps that she created.


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie woke up to the sunshine creeping through the blinds, as her eyes adjusted to the light she could see the naked form of Joey laying asleep next to her, her head started to panic the fact that she was in bed naked with another women. Stupid thoughts were travelling at sonic speed mainly about what other people would think if they were to see them there, but then her heart kicked in telling her to stop being stupid that she loved Joey. She loved everything about her the way that she slept the way that her back arched and the smile that was still on her face.

Charlie held out her hand wanting to run her fingers over the shoulder blades of her lover. Letting the tips of her fingers run over the soft skin tracing patterns over the tanned skin. As she rolled on to her side so that she could get a better look at Joey she was surprised that the smile had grown even bigger, loving the fact that she could affect Joey even in her sleep. Applying a little more pressure Charlie started let her fingers travel even lower, until they were resting just above Joeys bottom. Debating with herself if she should continue her exploration Charlie didn't notice the hand sneak from under the pillow. Joey had been awake for long before Charlie had opened her eyes. She had been enjoying watching her sleep and when Charlie had started to stir, Joey knew it was wrong but she wanted to see what Charlie's reaction was without the pressure of Joey being awake. If she wanted to run she could.

Joey could see the inner turmoil that Charlie was suffering through the sneaky peaks that she kept taking the lines on Charlie's face although making her in Joeys opinion look even more beautiful caused a nervous sensation to travel through Joeys body. Would Charlie run.

As she was almost waiting for Charlie to climb out of bed Joey was surprised when Charlies fingers started exploring her back. Unable to cope with the desire that was building inside her Joey snaked her hand from under the pillow and brushed the hair that had fallen across Charlies face.

"Your still here?"

Charlie smiled at Joey letting her hand rest on Joeys bottom, " i told you I would be." Joey pushed her self up and kissed Charlie quickly on the lips before snuggling back into the pillow, closing the gap between her and Charlies bodies.

"I no you did say but i was just worried that you wouldn't win that fight you were having with yourself earlier. That you would shut your heart out and run away."

"Joey I," Charlie stuttered " I love you and I want to be with you more than i have wanted anything in my entire life. But please, I need to just be with you. just for a little while, let me get my head around this and then we can tell people but please Joey I need you to do this for me please. I need for us to just stay private for a little while so i can figure out what I am."

"Chalie if I could I would give you every last breathe in my body, I don't want you to be ashamed of us, I want to be able to hold your hand walking on the beach, to be able to kiss you in the diner if you say something sweet. I want people to know that I am in love with the most amazing woman in the world." Charlie started to panic was Joey going to tell her that it was either tell people or they couldn't be together because Charlie really didn't feel that she was ready to tell the likes of colleen that she was in fact madly in love with Joey Collins. Charlie was falling in her own mind. She was falling to the doubt all the things that she had spent ages agonising over, they were slowly beginning to resurface. Last night she had put it all behind and let her self be with Joey but she wasn't ready to do it in public yet.

Joey was smiling but as the silence between them lasted a little longer than she thought it would, she saw the sadness and anguish that was now covering Charlie's face. Feeling guilty Joey started speaking again " Charlie, I guess its a good job then that i have to go away for a few days with the boat then."

Charlie looked deep in to Joeys eyes, noticing that Joey was smiling "Im sorry im confused, I thought you wanted to tell everyone?"

Joey rolled on top of Charlie, Charlie linked her hands around Joeys waist, Joey's smile faded and she tried to put on a serious face even though it was a hard task her lying on top of a naked Charlie, one of Charlie's longs legs fallen between hers. "I do want people to know, but i don't want to rush you. we are doing this at your speed Charlie, as long as we don't have to spend the rest of our lives shut away in this house i will be happy, but then again I would be happy if you we could stay in bed all time."

"Joey your are amazing" Charlie kissed Joey nose " but what were you saying about having to leave for a few days?"

"I have a charter job I accepted it before anything had happened between us, its only two days but it will give you time to decide if this is what you really want. I leave to night."

Charlie pushed Zoë off her, climbed out of bed wrapping a towel around her she ran out of the room, grabbing the phone from the lounge she ran back into the bedroom. To be met by a stunned Joey at the door, "I wondered what was wrong, was it something I said."

Giving Joey a reassuring kiss Charlie jumped back on the bed dialling the stations number "sarge I wont be able to come in today, I've been up all night, i think it was something I ate but there's no way that i would be able to work today. Sorry." Joey sat there in amazement as Charlie lied to her boss "Yes I will, Im going to try and get some sleep now and Il be back tomorrow."

Hanging up the phone Charlie smiled "well if i only have a few hours left with you im not spending them at work."


	3. Chapter 3

Empty bottles were scattered in front of Charlie, she was only just about managing to remain sitting. Dizziness wasn't helping her thought process. Joey she couldn't get her out of her mind again a grand total of six hours had passed since Joey sailed off. Charlie couldn't help but smile as she remembered the smile on Joeys face. Feeling guilty about the thoughts that were cascading through her mind. Now that she had come to terms with the fact that yes she did actually love Joey she was now doubting and suffering with everything that that meant. Wondering how she would ever be able to hold Joey or Kiss her in public. Charlie began to wonder whether it would be better for Joey to let her go, to let her find someone who could love her in the way that she deserved to be loved.

Disturbed from her thinking by a hand touching her shoulder Charlie looked up, meeting the eyes of Hugo Charlie smiled. Gesturing for him to join her Hugo sat close to her, their legs slightly touching. She didn't get the same sensation as when Joey's skin touched hers. But there was definitely a tingle there, she had been on a date with Hugo so there must be some kind of attraction but she just couldn't push Joey out of her head, she hadn't even noticed when Hugo had wrapped his arm around her waist and was now only inches from her lips.

Hugo leaned in and kissed her trying to force his tong into her mouth, Charlie pulled back.

"Joey,"  
"what, what about Joey?"

"I can't do this I'm in love with Joey I want to be with her and her only." Charlie looked shocked she had just declared to someone other than Joey that she was in love.

"Really, I never knew you were gay?"

"I'm not gay Hugo, it's just Joey does something to me that makes me feel alive." And with that she made possibly the biggest mistake of her life, she leant in and kissed Hugo, feeling him instantly respond by pushing his tong deep into Charlie mouth, running his hands over her back. Applying his body weight to Charlie she began to lie back on the beach. Hugo was running his hands all over her body, unlike when Joey touched her Charlie felt nothing she was numb just lying there letting him do everything. A tear ran down her cheek, but Hugo was having too much fun he never noticed.

Joey dangled her feet over the side of the boat delighting in the sensation, looking at her watch she couldn't help but wonder what Charlie was doing; a small part of her hoped that Charlie was missing her as much as she missed her. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of Charlie. Even though they had met because of the worse time in Joey's life everything Charlie had ever given her radiated love.

Charlie picked up her shorts from Hugo's bedroom floor, pulling them up just before she opened the door she prayed that none of the other occupants of the house were awake so she could make a stealth exit and put the awful night behind her. How could she cheat on Joey just because she had been called Gay? Stepping out into the living area Charlie was shocked to see Xavier, guilt spreading across her face, running out without even saying a word tears cascading down her face. Charlie shut herself in the bathroom turning on the shower she tried to wash away her sins, but all she could picture was Joey, trying to work out if she should tell her or not.


	4. Chapter 4

Hands were running over her body, touching her skin making it feel on fire. Restlessly she rolled on to her back to accommodate the hands that were so lovingly touching her. The sand providing a natural bed. Feeling lips touching her body, a tong running down her stomach. Charlie couldn't see who the hands or tong belonged to but she knew. No one had ever touched her or made her feel like that before. Suddenly the loving touches stopped the feeling of the sand behind her back had vanished to be replaced with the sense of falling, whilst her body fell helplessly in the never ending darkness Charlie was haunted by the last conversation Joey had had with her, " I never want to see you again" repeating over and over again.

Charlie fought with the sheets trying to save her from the dream world the held her captive. Reaching for the pillow that Joey had once slept on, the smell still distinguishable Charlie inhaled deeply taking Joey in to her lungs. The smell was enough to pull her from her nightmare. A cold sweat covering her body. Wishing that Joey was there to comfort her Charlie sat up in bed turning the light on for her only comfort she wept, for everything that she had thrown away.

It had been nearly two weeks since Joey had found out about her night with Hugo, all because of an earring. Nothing she had said or done had enabled her to keep Joey in summer bay. She had sailed of it to the sunset set but unlike the pair had talked about in bed; Joey had gone alone leaving Charlie behind.

Charlie had begged and pleaded for the love of her life to say to try and make her understand that Hugo was a mistake that it had arrived due to the worse day of her life one that Joey herself had asked to put behind them, but when Charlie raised this fact in one of their heated arguments Joey had been unable to fathom the idea that Charlie would class her cheating as the same as Brett's complaint. That was the last Joey had seen Charlie before she joined her new charter.

Sitting on the stern of the boat Joey dangled her feet over the side, letting the spray cool her toes as the waves splashed against the side. She was thinking of Charlie that was all she ever did. Enough time had passed that she could think of the way Charlie had made her feel; loved and safe rather than disgusted, hurt and sick. She hated the way that she had left Charlie, realising that it was the coward's way out but she couldn't face her she needed space away from her. Charlie made her head swim make her feel like she couldn't breathe and to figure out if she could ever forgive Charlie she needed to be away from those feelings. As the water lapped at joey's feet she had an epiphany of sorts. Standing up she made her way to the laptop that was on board. She began to type an email to Charlie, hoping that it would help her as much as it would Charlie.

_Charlie,_

_I wonder every day of every minute how you are? _

_You have to realise I only left the way I did because I loved you and feeling as hurt as I did I couldn't be around you I wanted, no I needed the opportunity to heal myself so that maybe we could try, try to move on. _

_I know that you did what you did because of me; I left you to deal with the self doubt, and confusion. I should have stayed and made you see that everything would be alright instead I just drove you deep in to the waiting arms of Hugo. Although I don't want to think about it I hope that being with him let you understand just how much I love you and sadly probably always will._

_I don't know if I can ever get over what you did Charlie it felt like you killed a part of me. But I can think of you in a good way now rather than one of pain and hurt. And i'm not promising anything, but when I get back to summer bay in two months and one week from the date of this email I would like for us to meet. I think we have a lot to talk about._

_Love you always and forever _

_Joey_

_Xx_

_P.s: you can write back if you want._

Charlie sat at her desk in work, she had been there an hour coming in early due to her nightmare but she had done no work, she just sat there staring at the screen trying to decide what to do first. Opening her email at the top of the page was one from Joeys account reading it through for the first time in weeks Charlie had hope that maybe everything could be sorted out that everything wasn't lost. Choosing to compose a new message Charlie typed a few draft copies finally deciding on a version she hit send.

_Joey,_

_You shouldn't wonder how I am, I hurt you, I lost you. I don't deserve for you to think about me. You were right though I always knew that I loved you but it took for my massive mistake with Hugo for me to realise that all the insecurities I felt were stupid and insignificant compared to how much I love you and need you in my life. _

_I know you probably won't believe me but it meant nothing with Hugo, I just lay there, letting him I stupidly didn't say no or stop it because I was trying to prove to myself that I'm not gay that it was just you but I couldn't do it. But by the fact that I felt no satisfaction what so ever and actually started to cry during because all i wished was it was you touching me I think we can safely say that I am gay and in love with JOEY COLLINS. Il shout it from the roof of the diner if you want me to._

_I will prove to you just how much I love you, I will make you see that we can be together and that nothing ever has to feel as bad as this separation again._

_I have loved you from the first moment I saw you but just didn't realise it, and I will love you for the rest of my life._

_Hope your trip is good and that the water is making you feel at home._

_C xx_


	5. Chapter 5

Joey sat on the stern of the boat, watching as the sun rose but she wasn't enjoying it as much as she used to. She didn't enjoy anything the same way as she used to. After Robbo she didn't think that she would be able to smile again she felt to broken but Charlie had fixed her. Rebuilt her piece by piece and for a while it had been the most amazing feeling she had ever felt. Even drinking a cup of coffee, something as ordinary as that was something to be enjoyed if Charlie was sat across the table sipping from one of the diners cups. But here on the boat where there was no Charlie just the memories that she had left behind Joey felt only sadness.

She had sent Charlie the email saying that she still loved her and couldn't stop thinking about her, which was the truth but there was also the fact that after Charlie had spent so long putting her back together to then just smashed her heart into a thousand tiny pieces and that would probably always be there, or at least for a little while longer. As much as it hurt her Joey had to admit to herself that there could be a possibility that when she got back to summer bay in four weeks that she would still be unable to forgive Charlie enough for them to be together.

Charlie sat in her office where she spent most of her time hoping for her inbox to show a new message from Joey, it had been nearly two weeks since she sent her reply and she had heard nothing since. Neither had Aden every time she saw him she asked if he had news from Joey. As she filed her latest report away she heard the beep of the new message, returning to the computer she saw what she had been waiting to see. New message from Joey Collins.

Instantly clicking on the message she held her breathe as she read the screen.

_Charlie_

_It isn't for you to say how I feel about you. Only I can be in control of how I feel. And I love you. _

_I don't think I will be able to love anyone the way that I love you. I owe you so much you helped me to breathe again when i was drowning you found me lost and hurting and you saved me. And although I will love you forever for that and I want so much to be with you again. to feel the touch of your lips against your skin to be able to kiss every inch of your body and to be inside of you. I don't know if I will be able to. Im telling this to you now as i don't want you to get your hopes up I just cant shake you and Hugo from my mind and it hurts. _

_Im so sorry_

_But know that I do love you._

_Joey xxx_

Charlie read and reread the message as tears fell down her cheeks she didn't understand Joey was telling her how much she loved her and yet saying they still couldn't be together. Wiping the tears away Charlie started to type. Ruby was right it was time to start fighting for Joey.

_Joey _

_The day that you left Ruby told me that I should fight for you and i tried, I tried to be strong enough to do that but I wasn't. So I'm going to try now and when you get back. I will keep fighting for you until you realise that I am sorry and that I will never hurt you again. so here it goes:_

_Joey _

_You are the one who saved me, the time that I spent with you was the most amazing of my life. I have never felt love like that before. It was the biggest mistake of my life messing things up with you and I am so sorry I will never forgive myself so shouldn't forgive e either. But I want us so badly I know that's selfish of me but I wish that we could just put aside what happened lock it away with all the bad stuff that had happened and start a fresh. We can even leave summer bay if you want go somewhere else down the coast. I don't mind and I would do anything for you. _

_Please joey tell me what i need to do and i will do it. _

_I love you and am not giving up on us_

_C xx_

Joey was about to turn the computer off when she saw the new message from Charlie, realising she must be sat in her office she began to picture Charlie in her uniform. Shaking her head so that she could concentrate enough to read Charlie's message she couldn't help but smile at the thought of Charlie fighting for her. questions began to run through her mind as she thought about whether moving away would help them. just the offer meant alot to her. seeing the online symbol next to Charlies name Joey decide to instant message Charlie. So they could have a proper conversation.

_Joey: you don't want to move summer bay is your home._

Charlie's heart skipped a beat as she heard the distinct jingle for the Instant message.

_Charlie: My home is where you are and where you are happy. I don't care where we leave as long as you are in my bed when I wake up._

_Joey: you would move just for me?_

_Charlie: yes!! I would do anything for you  
Im so sorry Joey_

_Joey: I know you are, I guess its y fault for wanting to much at once_

_Charlie: No its not your fault don't say that i was the idiot i messed this up all because of a word GAY  
which i have now come to terms with if you check out my facebook page :P_

_Joey: I'l have a look now._

There was a few minutes where Charlie sat biting her nails whilst Joey was obviously was looking at the page.

_Joey: now you need to look at your face book page :P_

Charlie quickly logged on to her page to see two new comments. Joey had added a comment to Charlies relationship status. _Its not complicated anymore. _Then Charlie looked at the wall post by Joey. _Haha I like it I never did realise you were actually gay though I thought you tried to say it was just me lol. So how come it says complicated and not in a relationship with joey Collins who loves you more than anything in the world and is so proud of you right at this very moment. I think we can say that you fought Charlie and you won. I love you xxxxxxx _

Charlie couldn't help but smile, she felt that she could explode it was such a change in emotion from when she had read that there was a possibility her and Joey would be never getting back together. Seeing that Joey was still on line she messaged her instantly:

Charlie: _to start off with it was complicated in my mind but the thought of loosing you and being separated from you has made me see that I'm just crazily, madly in love with you and there is nothing complicated about that fact. _

_Joey: good because I love you. r u in uniform??? _

Charlie couldn't help but laugh her Joey was back, the cheeky version that she had fell in love with and one hundred miles away from the angry version that had boarded the boat. Liking the direction that this conversation was about to go and about to type her reply she was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"senior we have a call, possible hostage situation." Charlie sighed all's she wanted to do was email back and forth with Joey. Typing quickly _got a call, love you xx _She grabbed her gear and headed out the door. She didn't see Joeys response _ok b safe baby xx_


	6. Chapter 6

It felt like someone had just hit her square in the chest with a baseball bat, the force was so strong that she fell to the floor. one of her hands scrambling to her radio to call for back up, the other reaching down to her gun. Eyes focused on the man in front of her she never heard or saw the other man step out from a side room.

His gun was pointing down at Charlie he started shouting towards the other guy but Charlie could hardly hear him the adrenaline was pumping too hard, the sound of her heartbeat blocking out any other noise. Trying to keep her panic under control Joey came into her mind instantly relaxing her as she became determined to get out of this situation.

Assessing her options and hoping that back up would get to her quicker, it felt like an eternity since she had left everyone to go and clear the rooms upstairs. She knew it had only been a few seconds it simply felt longer. The second man stepped closer to her, holding the gun in a execution style position Charlie realised that she had to act or she would never be able to see Joey again.

"You don't want to do this, killing a cop isn't a smart move." She was trying to waste time.

"shut up" and the second guy clicked off the safety moving the gun closer to Charlie, it was now right between her eyes. the man's partner was panicking shouting for him not to shoot Charlie. Charlie had managed to release her gun from the holder and slowly pulled it out all she needed now was the opportunity.

"Ivan keep your mouth shut otherwise il shoot you as well" and with this he took the gun away from Charlie and pointed it at Ivan. This was Charlie's chance she wasn't going to waist it lifting the gun quickly up above her head so it was in line with the unknown mail. Whilst he was distracted she took aim and shot him. The bullet struck him in the chest.

He fell backwards, as he fell Charlie pushed herself up onto her feet only to find Ivan's gun now pointing at her. "you shout him. You killed my brother"

"Ivan put the gun down, he was about to shoot you and me." As Charlie was speaking she brought her gun up so it was now pointing directly at Ivan, he raised his gun a little higher having learnt from the bullet proof vest mistake.

Charlie was breathing hard, "Ivan lower your gun please. Don't make this worse for yourself" but he wasn't listening he was looking at his brothers body. Taking this as a refusal to complie Charlie squeezed her trigger. At the same time Ivan squeezed his trigger. As he fell backwards to join his brother Ivan saw the bullet hit Charlie in the neck.

Lying in her own blood Charlie couldn't keep herself conscious she heard backup finally arrive, heard them call to her but she was being carried away, there voices sounded distant she couldn't hold on to them. letting herself fall into the darkness she prayed she would see Ruby and Joey again in this life.


	7. Chapter 7

Backup arrived too late; they entered the room to find Charlie on the floor blood seeping from her neck. Running towards her they smothered there hands over the bullet hole attempting to stop the bleeding. Calling Charlie's name as they waited for the medics they couldn't help but fear the worst.

There was nothing that Charlie could do she couldn't move or breathe, the light was so bright it was burning eventually she managed to open her eyes. as soon as she did she felt a new energy surge through her. sitting up she managed to look around no longer in the room where she was shot, or in the hospital her hand travelled up to her neck where the bullet had entered her body. There was nothing no mark no scar. _Am i dead? Is this heaven?_

Paramedics packed gauzes on to Charlie's neck, clipping diagnostic machines to her chest and fingers, finding a low and irregular heartbeat. She was still alive, just.

Standing up she looked around, there was nobody she was alone looking out at sea watching the waves crash against the rocks. She couldn't remember having ever been here before but she felt at peace her and couldn't help but think Joey would love it here.

Lifting her body into the ambulance Charlie still showed no response. Her heartbeat becoming weaker, a grey look seeping across her skin.

_Joey, how would she find out about what had happened, she knew that people would tell Ruby with compassion and love but would any one figure to tell Joey? Wishing that she could have had one more chance to see Joey, to touch her soft skin, watch her sleep to kiss her. but that wouldn't be happening. _

Walking along the shore line Charlie was trying to figure out where she was or what this was, eventually she saw a man stood with his back to her. Approaching him slowly she cleared her throat, "hello"

The figure turned, she recognised the face, and how she had missed seeing that face every day. "i take it I'm dead then?"

"you are what you are Charlie, only you can define yourself." He turned his back again to look back out at the sea. She moved besides him.

"I don't know what i am, what this is,"

Arriving at the hospital Charlie was wheeled into the emergency treatment room, and lifted like a ragdoll onto the bed. crash team on high alert. The two officers who had accompanied her stepped back, one left to go and find Ruby. Deciding this was possibly the worse day of there life.

"maybe that is the whole point maybe you don't need to know yet, maybe just enjoy what you have to experience right now." He said laughing slightly. Charlie felt guilty, it didn't seem right that she was able to hear his laugh, when so many others would benefit from hearing it, when they were still hurting so badly after his death.

"your not being much help." The man laughed and shook his head,

"your still the same Charlie impatient as ever." In response she pushed him in the arm.

"seriously am I ever going to see Ruby again, will I be able to show Joey how much she means to me."

The man turned to face her, the soft gentle smile she had grown to love every time she saw him spread across his face. "oh so you do have a reason to live then?" she looked at him confusion on her face. "Joey and Ruby you want to go back for them"

"of course, I don't want to leave them." tears filling her eyes as the realisation of never seeing her girls again struck at her directly in the heart,

"Charlie for months you have been alive but not living, even before you messed things up with Joey, you were so scared about love that you hid from a pretty perfect life."

"if i had the opportunity that you had then I would never act scared, I'd make sure the whole world knew who i loved and show her every second of the day." The man began to walk off, heading down to the beach. He turned "hugo, really??"

Charlie chased after him not ready to be left alone and not impressed with the Hugo comment. As she ran across the sand her body was suddenly struck with a massive jolt, she slowed down, hit with another jolt things began to blur.

"administer another shot of adrenaline, ready? Clear!" the surgeon pushed the paddles down hard onto Charlies chest, 360 volts of electricity coursing through her body making her rise off the operating table and then slump back down. The monitor still flat lineing.

The man stopped and faced Charlie "you want to go back? You want to start living your life? Then go Charlie. Just let the next jolt carry you back you get a second chance. Work isn't everything, live for both of us."

The third jolt came and Charlie didn't fight it she thought about Joey and Ruby and wanting to go back to them. as she felt herself leaving the beautiful beach behind she heard one last thing "tell Martha I love her, tell my Dad to let go and kiss my baby brother for me, Goodbye Charlie" Lines started to spike on the monitor, Charlie's heartbeat getting stronger and stronger.


	8. Chapter 8

Charlie lay still in her bed, she had not moved for hours since the surgeons brought her to her room. She was still and unresponsive, Ruby couldn't help but notice how cold she felt to the touch. A single tear slipped from her eye as she tried to make herself believe that Charlie would wake up. That she would have her sister back. The Dr's told her it was all about whether Charlie had enough fight in her to wake up, they had done all they could.

Angelo stood in Charlie's office, nobody had entered there since Charlie had been shot it just didn't seem right, but the world had to carry on just because she was sat in a hospital bed and he needed the case files Charlie was working on. Heading over to the desk he notice that her computer was on standby . Curiosity and the fact that he didn't want Charlie to lose any of her work he moved the mouse. The screen coming instantly alive. Reading what was on the screen his heart sank, he read the conversation between Charlie and Joey. He knew that somebody needed to tell Joey. But should he be the person to do it. Turning off the computer Angelo shut the office door deciding to wait to see whether Charlie woke up soon so that he could avoid being the one to break the news that Charlie and Joey were in a relationship again, and telling Joey what had happened to Charlie.

Joey was annoyed, she was anxious. Charlie should be back at the station by now, she should have sent her a message to say that she was ok. But nothing. As the hours turned into the next day, Joey couldn't take not hearing anything as soon as they moored up she jumped off and made her way to the closest pay phone. She dialled Charlie's mobile and had no reply, she called Leah's and got the answering machine. She left a message for Charlie to email her as soon as she got this. Flicking through her phone book she found Aden's mobile, guessing that he would probably know if anything had happened to Charlie she dialled it hoping he would answer.

"hello, who is this?"

"aden? It's Joey"

"Joey" there was something strange about his voice, he seemed to take to long to reply to hearing that she was calling him.

"Aden, is Charlie alright I haven't heard from her since she went out on a call?"

The phone started to beep, Joey rummaged in her pocket for more coins only finding another 20 cents she put it in the slot as she waited for Aden to speak.

"Nobody's told you?"

"told me what, whats happened?" The beeping started again.

"Joey Charlie's in hospital she was sh" Joey never heard the last of Aden's reply as the phone went dead.

Joey raced back to the boat and started packing her stuff up, grabbing her green duffel bag she headed to the Captain's cabin, knocking first she opened the door to find her boss listening to music. Holding back the tears Joey explained why she was leaving. Giving his agreement for her to leave Joey went in search for the local bus stop to make her way back to Summer Bay, back to Charlie.

This time  
This place  
Misused  
Mistakes  
Too long  
Too late  
Who was I to make you wait?  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know, you know, you know I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Joey sat on te bus her head leaning against the window, her ipod on every song seemed to remind her of Charlie.

On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know, you know, you know I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Letting the tears fall she couldn't help but think how selfish she had been fro leaving in the first place if she had stayed and tried to work things threw maybe this wouldn't have happened, or if ut had then she would at least be with Charlie now rather than on this bus. She kicked the seat in front of her in anger.

So far away, so far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away, so far away  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know I wanted, I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say that I love you (That I love you)  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you (And I forgive you) for being away for far too long  
So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it

Hours passed and the journey seemed to be taking forever.

Hold on to me and never let me go  
Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and never let me go

Eventually Joey began to see the sign posts for Summer Bay, she just hoped that Charlie was alright.


	9. Chapter 9

Joey entered the hospital asking at reception for Charlie Buckton she made her way towards the ICU room, not knowing what she was going to find dread coursed through her veins. It was late no one was sat with Charlie her small slender figure barley filled the bed, Joey was physically shocked by Charlie's appearance.

Walking closer she took hold of Charlie's hand and kissed it softly, then kissed her forehead. Pulling the chair closer to the bed Joey whispered softly in Charlie's ear "Hay sweet girl, I need for you to wake up for me, I need you to tell me your ok." Joey stroked Charlie's hair, relishing in the familiar comfort it provided. The nurses came into take Charlie's ob's, they filled Joey in on what had happened shock overcame her and she found herself gripping Charlie's hand as tight as she could.

She stayed all night, falling asleep still holding Charlie's hand. Ruby arrived at the hospital a s she did every day, putting on her usual act she breezed into the room "morning Charlie have you decided to wake up yet lazy?" She was shocked to see Joey laying asleep, resting next to Charlie.

Squeezing Joey on the shoulder Ruby managed to wake, she was so relieved to see Joey, even though she was only a few years older than her Ruby saw Joey as the adult, her being here would make everything better. She didn't have to be so strong anymore there was someone for her to lean on.

As she hugged Joey she let the tears fall, the charade that she had been putting up for the last few days came falling down. Joey tried her best to comfort her but realised nothing that she could say would stop the tears they simply needed to fall. They sat back down next to Charlie, Joey instantly taking hold of Chrlie's hand. It felt so right and fitted so perfectly inside her own.

"Joey not that I'm not pleased to see, you but what are you doing here?"

"I hadn't heard from Charlie and I got worried when she never contacted me after her call out, so i ended up having to phone aden and he said she was in hospital. I didn't get anymore details as the phone went dead. I just got on a bus and came straight here." Joey started stroking the long brown hair that was covering the pillow.

"what do you mean hadn't heard from Charlie, I never knew you to were speaking"

Joey blushed, "we'll we decided to get back together. I realised it didn't matter what Charlie has done I love her too much not to be with her. " Joey managed to force a little laugh "go on your sisters facebook page and you'll see" Joey now turned to Charlie. "You see I have just told Ruby that were back together but unless you wake up I'm going to look like a complete idiot being in a relationship on my own. So come on Charlie you have slept enough."


	10. Chapter 10

Joey tried not to let go of Charlie's hand she thought that maybe she was anchoring her to life, that as soon as she let go of her hand Charlie would slip away from her. she knew it was silly but she just couldn't take that risk. She wouldn't lose Charlie not again. Charlie could hear voices but she still couldn't make her way towards them, it was like she was in limbo she just couldn't move, couldn't get herself to wake up.

"joey you've been here three days you really should go get some rest"

"I can't leave her, I made Ruby go to school so I don't want her to be on her own." Rachel touched Joey on the shoulder trying to comfort her.

"how about when my shift finishes I will come and sit with her and you go and at the very least get something decent to eat and a shower."

Joey looked up hesitantly "well I guess that sounds ok, I could do with a shower. Leah gave me my key back to her place."

"well thats good because my shift finished ten minutes ago, so go, leave and i don't want you back here till you are all refreshed."

Joey left the hospital for the first time in days the natural light hurting her eyes, but it felt good to feel the air on her skin. Twenty minutes later she was back at Leah's it seemed strange like she was looking in on someone else's life. She had flashbacks of the nights curled up on the sofa she had spent with Charlie. Entering Charlie's room, there room she sat on the bed, under the pillow she pulled out Charlie's t-shirt that she liked to sleep in. Holding it close she breathed in the smell of Charlie. Laying down on the bed she pulled Charlie's pillow towards her curling herself around it. Alone and with her memories she let go, she could be weak for just a few moments. The tears came and only stopped as Joey drifted into a sleep that was allowed her to once more be with Charlie.

A hand gently reached out and brushed the hair away from Joeys cheek "it's time to wake up Joey." Fingers continued to trace lines along her face sending chills down her spine. She knew that touch. She had missed it, dreamt it every night. Opening her eyes she realised that she had dreamed it again this time, but the voice had been real. Blinking letting her eyes adjust to the light she saw Leah stood over her. she couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"sorry was that a good dream."

"no more torturous, any news on Charlie?"

"sorry sweetheart she still the same. Dinner will be in ten minutes if you want a quick shower."

Joey stood under the cold water trying to shake the feeling left behind from her dream. Whispering under her breath "please let her wake up soon" she let the water run down her face, and she couldn't help punch the shower tiles in frustration. She felt so helpless she wished there was something that she could do, maybe heading back to the hospital would help?

She couldn't eat the meal that Leah had made for her simply pushing it back and forth around her plate, Leah looked worried when Joey stood up and announced that she was going back to the hospital. "Joey sit back down, when you have eaten your dinner then I will drive you myself. But you will be no good to Charlie if you haven't taken care of yourself.

Joey almost sprinted to Charlie's room she had been away for far to long, as she was about to open the door to the room. A nurse called her saying that she couldn't go in.

"what do you mean I cant go in that's my girlfriend in ther" it felt good saying that Charlie was her girlfriend again.

"I mean that you aren't allowed to go in to the room. She isn't allowed visitors at the moment and the Dr's are currently with her."

Panic filled Joey had something happened to Charlie, was there complications. Why couldn't she see her. "Why can't we go in?" Leah asked when she realised Joey had been stunned into silence probably frozen from worry.

"Your not her family or next of kin so you will have to wait by the chairs for the Dr." The nurse turned to walk away. Joey saw red, how could this woman be so rude at at time like this. She wanted to say something or do something. Taking a step forward she wanted to lunge at the woman but she felt Leah's arm around her pulling her towards the chairs.

"Sit down Joey we just have to wait for the Dr, but Im sure Charlie's ok?"


	11. Chapter 11

It's too late, the sky's performing  
we must have missed our warning sign that day  
there's so much that we've no longer got  
as my eyes move down across your face

i remember songs that brought us in the corner of your room  
you held too close for both of us, till nothing touched could move

i know, it doesn't silence anyone  
so what could anyone say  
there's been but two meanings in our lives  
what you want and what i can't hide

the fallen cry, the empty driveway lights don't take me home  
you held too close for both of us  
till nothing said was known  
because i know a place i'm going to, like nowhere that you've been  
goodnight, goodnight

the fallen cry, the empty driveway lights don't take me home  
you held too close for both of us till nothing said was known  
i remember songs that brought us in the corner of your room  
you held too close for both of us till nothing said was known

the time is over goodnight  
leaving us the way i thought it might  
cause i know a place i'm going to like nowhere that you've been  
goodnight, goodnight

Charlie couldn't hold on to the limbo that she was in, she felt herself slipping further and further away, the voices that she could hear so vividly before where becoming faint and hard to distinguish. She couldn't hold on any longer her desire for life, to make a life with Joey was strong but she was losing the battle.

The monitor besides Charlie's bed started spiking, there was a sudden increase in her heart rate and then the line when flat. Dr's rushed in charging the paddles for the second time they sent the electricity coursing through the police officers body. The curtains around Charlie's bed were drawn so that the visitors who had just arrived would not see the traumatic scene.

For the fifth time they shocked Charlie, this time her heart caused a small but recognisable beat on the monitor, charging the paddles again they shocked Charlie back into sinus rhythm. As they did so there was definite movement of her fingers.

Charlie had everything hit her with vivid clarity, she felt a live again that she was ready to push herself forwards and find Joey. She needed her Joey. Charlie managed to open her eyes, the light disorientated her she had to keep blinking to try and gain focus. Her throat felt dry but she tried to speak anyway.

It came out croaky but it was easily understood "Joey" she swallowed and managed to moisten her lips "Where's Joey"

"she's outside Charlie, you've given her quite a scare were just going to check you over then she can come in ok" It was good to hear the familiar voice of Rachel, Charlie should have guessed she would be working tonight, she always seemed to be working but she was glad.

She endured a further ten minutes of being prodded and having lights flashed in her eyes until she was finally propped up on some pillows so she was in a semi sitting position. All the other Dr's and nurses left pushing with them the crash trolley. They walked past Joey and Leah, both automatically fearing the worst, trying to ask and find out what was going on all they seemed to be told was "A Dr will be out shortly."

Joey was holding her head in her hands her mind was running wild with fear of what was going on, why wouldn't someone just come out and tell them. just as she thought she could wait no more Rachel came out the room.

"joey" joey looked up instantly fearing the worst. Rachel stepped forward and placed a hand on the young womans shoulder. "there's someone who would like to see you."

"she's awake?" stood up and made her way into the hospital room. The smile on her face growing with every step that she took.

Standing in the door way the sight of Charlie sitting up and awake took her breath away. "If you wanted me to come home you just had to ask you didn't have to get your self shot." Tears began to fall from Joeys eyes at the pure relief and happiness she felt from having Charlie awake.

As soon as she heard the voice in the door way Charlie turned her head to face Joey. Charlie smiled and held out her arms to Joey.

_Guess it's in all those small things  
Eyes closed or eyes wide open  
Something in the corner of everyone's eye  
See or look away again  
This time I won't ignore  
Not hesitate just adore_

Charlie took in the sight of Joey, it had been so long since she had seen her, she looked tired and worn out. Her eyes were streaming with tears but the beauty was there. She was still her Joey.

_And I think I'm starting to come alive  
Life flooding my veins again_

Joey fell into Charlie's open arms, relishing the feel of them closing around her. Resting her head on Charlie's shoulder she whispered I love you into Charlies ear.

_Feel I'm coming back to life  
I'm falling  
Feel I'm coming back to love  
This black crow becoming white dove  
Feel I'm coming back to life  
I'm falling again  
I'm falling in love_

"I love you so much Joey, I'm never leaving you again" Charlie pulled Joey away from her slightly so she could look deep into the beautiful eyes that had haunted her in her dreams. The tears still falling down Joeys cheeks.

_I guess it's in all those great important matters  
We all like to bend around  
We do our best to ignore  
While our hearts is reaching for more  
We are not synchronized  
We are intellectualized  
_

Charlie leaned forward and kissed away the tear that was rolling down Joeys cheek.

_Feel I'm coming back to life... _

Then she kissed her way down to Joeys lips where they shared a deeply passionate kiss. Letting the tongs reconnect after nearly three months apart. Joey pulled herself away so she could get a better look at Charlie realising that her lover was now crying Joey brushed away Charlie's tears with her thumb.

"Im not letting go" and she took held of Charlie's hand and sat on the bed besides her as Rachel and Leah returned with Ruby shortly in tow.


	12. Chapter 12

Life wasn't perfect it was anything but. But they were together so shouldn't that count for something. Charlie was allowed home under the strictest orders she took it easy. That was something that didn't happen.

Charlie lay on the sofa pushing herself up on her elbows when she heard Joey return from the shop

"You know you could have taken me with you I'm so bored" Joey walked into the room laughing at the emphasis Charlie applied to the word bored.

"you really don't like being the patient do you?" Joey perched on the edge of the sofa, resting her hand on Charlie's hip. She leant over and kissed Charlie gently on the lips, letting softly brushing her tong against the inside of Charlie's mouth. Then she began placing soft kisses on Charlie's chin and working her way down the collar bone to the top of the white vest top. Charlie let of a soft groan and Joey instantly sat up worrying that she had hurt Charlie.

"don't stop" murmured a seemingly blessed out Charlie, her eyes shut and a small smile on her face. Joey was happy to oblige her lips had been away from Charlie for far too long. Repositioning herself on the sofa so that Joey was now straddling Charlie. Charlie opened her eyes and smiled as she felt the added pressure of Joey now sitting on her. Joey planted a soft kiss on Charlie's forehead. "close your eye's again" Joey linked her fingers with Charlie 's and pushed her hand up to the top of the sofa. Joey let kisses fall on every part of Charlie's exposed skin. Sucking and biting at her shoulders Joey then covered them in the gentelest of kisses. Cahrlie was being driven crazy by the sensation and everytime that she tried to reciprocate to show joey just how much she was enjoying it she was pushed back down on to the sofa or her hands pinned firmly above her head.

Joey let go of Charlie's hand so that she could slip the vest top down, relieved that Charlie had not bothered to put a bra on she began to massage charlie's breasts delighting in the noises that Charlie was making she could feel the heat rising form between her lovers legs whilst she sat on top . knowing that Charlie was close to the edge, joey moved herself further down the couch, now moving her lips between Charlie's exposed nipples she used her free hands to slip them down the front of Charlie's sweat pants. Surprised by what she found. "no underwear at all?"

Charlie was incapable of using to many words she simply shook her head. Joey loved the affect that she had on Charlie so she decided to please her even more. Sliding down the sweats low enough that Charlie was now exposed, Joey began kissing Charlie's inner thigh. Charlie's moans became louder. Just as she was finally tipped over the edge, they heard the door slam. Suddenly very aware that they had just had sex on Leah 's sofa Joey quickly pulled Charlie's sweat pants up whilst Charlie tucked her extremely erect nipples back into the vest top. Joey clambered up the sofa and positioned her arm covering Charlie's breast and resting her head on Charlie's shoulder so it looked just as Leah and Ruby entered the room that they had been enjoying a innocent cuddle on the sofa. They only trouble was Charlie was still breathing rather heavily from what Joey had just done to her and having the woman resting her arm on her breasts didn't really help matters.

"hay you two" Ruby smiled as she entered the room, it still felt a little weird seeing Charlie laying so intametly with another woman but she could see how happy her sister was, actually at the moment she looked a little more than happy.

"what have you two been up to?" noticing the guilty looks on there faces, and Charlie's slightly dialated eyes. putting two and two together she instantly came up with four. "ewwww actually I don't want to know, god get a room!!"

Joey looked mortified at having been caught out but Charlie simply laughed. "we have one just didn't want to use it" Ruby looked even worse than Joey " wishing you hadn't asked"

"yes, probably the worst thing i have ever asked you. " Ruby turned to leave the room "you two want a drink"

"No where good thank you, Joeys taking me out for a walk so we'll get something at the dinner."

Joey sat up and pushed herself of the couch, standing in front of her girlfriend she took both her hands and pulled her up to a standing position, reaching to the side of the sofa Joey passed Charlie her walking stick. Since waking from the coma Charlie had had trouble with her co-ordination and found it hard to walk without a aid, the drs were confident that in time she would make a full recovery. Just how much time?

The two women left the house very slowly hand in hand they walked along the beach front, Joey was continually checking that Charlie was alright, that she was comfortable with them being seen "together".

"are you sure I don't want to push you to far" Joey said for the tenth time as they stood outside the diner Charlie was now growing slightly sick of the constant asking, but she loved Joey for caring.

Resting on her cane, she came to a stop slightly embarrassed about having to use it to walk with considering how she used to be to be one of the people that she could see running along the beach she snapped a little at Joey, "Im fine for god's sake Im not a child!" seeing the look on Joeys face she instantly regretted it.

"Joey, please im sorry. I didn't mean, I'm sorry." Charlie tried to reach out and grab Joeys wrist but she stumbled letting her hand slip off her cane, Joey instantly stepped forward cathing Charlie from falling. Charllie rested her hand on Joeys shoulder and gently stroked her face.

"I'm so sorry Jo, I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that walking at this slow half dead pace isn't taxing me and im happy with us holding hands. And yes before you ask I can cope with people knowing about us." And to prove her point she kissed Joey softly on the lips. Joey couldn't help but react she let her hands slip round Charlie's back, running her hands up and down slipping them under the t-shirt. As Charlie deepened the kiss and began running her fingers threw Joeys hair she couldn't help but notice over her girlfriends shoulder that there display seemed to have obtained teh attention of coleen. The whole town would know and start dealing with the fact that they were a couple very shortly.

Charlie pulled away from Joey "lets go get a drink"

"can we not just go home or somewhere out of sight?" Joey looked slightly flushed.

"No way I want a juice, and this is pay back for earlier when ruby walked in" Charlie kissed Joeys cheek and began to make her way very slowly towards the empty table. Joey couldn't help but slap her bum as she dashed passed her.


	13. Chapter 13

Charlie opened her eyes and breathed in the sight of Joey lying beside her, still after all this time the sight took her breath away. She couldn't believe that even after all that she had put Joey through that she was still there laying besides her.

Charlie brushed the strand of hair that had fallen down Joey's cheek. Deciding that it was time for Joey to be waking up Charlie planted a soft kiss on the brunettes nose, then her forehead the seemed to be slightly more wrinkled these days, she could probably take the credit for that. Working her lips over the contours and lines of Joeys skin she whispered softly in the woman's ear, " I love you " Joey began to wake, groaning softly she pushed herself into Charlie's open arm her head pushing softly into the groove of Charlie's neck wear without even opening her eyes she began to kiss the soft skin.

"Jo I'm sorry I have been such a cow since I had to leave work, but I want you to know that you are the most important thing in my life apart from ruby and I am so sorry for everything you have been through because of me."

Joey opened her eyes and let out a small sigh "well it's a good job that you were worth it then isn't it." And she kissed Charlie on the lips letting her tongue collide with Charlie's she rolled on top of her girlfriend lifting her head up too look into Charlie's eyes "if I didn't love you so much then I wouldn't still be here. But if you would like some way to make it up to me I can think of one under the sheets" and Joey laughed as she saw the devilish look appear on Charlie's face.

"I would do that, and I probably will later on but I have somewhere that we need to be, somewhere that you will love. "

"really tell me more?"

An hour later they were both sat in Charlie's car having made sure that Ruby would be fine for a few days without her, after all it would be irresponsible of a mother to not make sure previsions for her teenage daughter were in place whilst she went on a romantic getaway with her girlfriend. The revelation that Ruby was not Charlie's sister and in fact her daughter, had nearly torn apart her relationship with Joey.

It had been an awkward few months, Ruby was helping Morag sort through papers at her dads apartment after he had passed away, upon doing so she discovered her birth certificate. The truth about Ruby and Charlie had caused devastation to all those affected Joey had moved out and ruby had gone to stay with her, leaving Charlie alone, neither of the two could cope with the total magnitude of Charlie's lie. But as the whole town began to gossip and colleen was questioning Charlie for possibly the tenth time Joeys resolve and anger at Charlie had faded as she saw once again how broken Charlie had become. She had watched as the woman that she loved sat there, the single tear rolling down her cheek had been enough to break Joey's heart. Walking over to Charlie she had rested her hand on her girlfriends hunched shoulder and slid into the booth opposite her, telling colleen that she would have a coffee unless she had something better to do she managed to get her to leave. Finally hearing the true story of Ruby's birth Joey felt guilty for the way that she had treated Charlie. And realised it explained a great deal as to why she was never fully allowed total access or been let all the way in. It had taken time but eventually with Joeys help a fragile slightly altered relationship had now formed between Charlie and Ruby and on a few occasions Ruby had even called her mom.

The car pulled into the car park of a small dock moorings, Charlie climbed out the car, and started to get the bags out of the car until Joey stepped in "I'm not a invalid you know, I can do things by myself."

"yer but I love helping you" Joey planted a small kiss on Charlie's cheek and they headed off down the jetty towards a small boat. Joey looked a little confused as Charlie nodded for her to climb on, stowing the bags safely under the deck Charlie handed Joey a map and pointed to a small little cove, "this is where you taking us."

"Oh I am, am I "Joey quickly plotted a route and then took the wheel. Enjoying the sensation of Charlie wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. Joey let her head fall softly on to Charlie shoulder "where are we going"

"your driving you should know"

"steering, god Charlie, three years and you still can't get it." And what a crazy but amazing three years they had been.

Half an hour later they were mooring off a small jetty at a beautiful beach, stepping on to the beautiful white sand Joey could now make out a beautiful natural arch way made of eroded rock, it had been decorated with beautiful flowers and a small red carpet was on the sand. There had been three tents set up, two small ones and a larger one with flowers decorated over the entrance.

Joey turned to face Charlie who had the biggest smile on her face, "what is going on" Charlie laughed, with a small amount of effort managed to get down on to one knee and took hold of Joey's hand.

"Joey, I said it this morning that you are the single most important person in my life along with Ruby, who adores you. I am so sorry for it all, all the hardship that you have had to face because of me. I want to show you that things can change they will change and I will be everything that you wanted me to be. I love you so much Joey and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Joey will you marry me."

Joey had tears streaming down her face she knelt in the sand in front of Charlie "firstly I don't blame you for anything that happened ,I was the one that left and gave up not you but where back and were here together. things don't need to change Charlie I love you and I'm happy and that is why you are so much more than I ever wanted you or us to be. Do you understand?"

Charlie was now crying as well, all she could do was nod her head in agreement. Joey leant forward and kissed away the tears then kissed Charlie sweetly in the lips, she then placed a small kiss on Charlie's earlobe and whispered "I will marry you by the way" Charlie pulled Joey into a hug and they fell onto the soft white sand.

"About time" they heard from a voice they heard running towards them, Joey looked up and saw Ruby running towards them. Landing on top the two women, Charlie pulled her daughter into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "I no it's a happy moment but Charles you and Joey need to get ready, everyone will be here in a hour." Joey looked confused again, Charlie was too emotional so it fell to Ruby to explain they days happenings.

Making their way to the two separate tents Charlie and Ruby entered one and Joey entered the other to find Martha and Leah sat there waiting for her with curling irons in hand. There were two outfits hanging up for Joey to choose from.

In Charlie's tent Ruby began to pin up the long flowing locks of her mother's hair. When it was all done Ruby rested her arms on Charlie's shoulders and tilted her head against her mom's. "Charles I think I should say sorry for how I treated you when I found out. But I just want you to know that having you as my mum is probably the best thing that I could hope for. I love you mom." Ruby kissed Charlie's cheek and Charlie lifted her hand to stroke the side of Ruby's face.

"I love you so much rube's and you have to believe that if I had any choice that I would have kept you and raised you, but it just never happened and I have watched you grow into a lovely young woman and I am so proud of you."

"Charlie you may not have raised me as my mother but you are the reason I am who I am, if i think back it was you who treated my cuts and helped me with my homework. You were always my mom you just didn't have the title." Ruby tried to laugh to lighten the mood. Luckily before it got any more emotional they were interrupted by Leah.

"the guests are starting to arrive and Joey is looking stunning and is ready for you." Charlie stood up hair and makeup done she slipped behind a screen and got herself self into a beautiful flowing cream dress. Having ruby do up the zip she smiled and said that she was ready.

The beach had transformed in the short time that the two woman were getting ready. There were now chairs set out to create a isle and there was a minister stood at the arch which had even more flowers on it. Charlie walked down her arm linked with Ruby's smiling that all her friends were there to share her special day. She greeted the minister then turned to face the direction of the other tent. The sight of Joey walking out took her breath away, wearing a teal coloured dress that had a slit up the thigh, her hair flowing in long curls over her shoulders and the most enchanting of smiles on her face. As she arrived next to Charlie she drank in the sight of her fiancé "You look, there are no words to describe how beautiful you look."

Charlie realised she had been holding her breathe since Joey had appeared."Jo you take my breath away with your beauty every time I see you, but today I still cant catch my breath. You look wow I am so lucky."

The minister gave a little talk about the importance of love a commitment and then asked whether the woman had produced their own vowels, Charlie nodded that she had. Joey blushed and said no she didn't realise she would be getting married their guests just laughed.

"ok Charlie you can go first then"

Charlie took Joeys hand and tucked a strand of hair behind the woman's ear, looking deep into the eyes that every time she looked into them she felt as though every inch of her soul was being read, she felt safe whenever Joey was close.

"Joey I feel like I should be saying the obvious, that I love you and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you but I hope that you already know that. So instead I want to make promises to you in front of our friends and family. Jo I will love you for the rest of my life, I will love you until the last breathe leaves my lips. You have given me so much, shown me and made me feel alive, and i will spend the rest of my life showing you how utterly amazed you make me. "

Now it was time for Joey the minister was about to begin with the words for Joey to repeat when Joey raised her hand "I would like to say my own vowels please." The minister nodded, Charlie smiled she couldn't help but love the look on Joey's face, she looked so shy and embarrassed but still strong. Pure amazement filled through her.

Joey ran her hands over the soft skin of Charlie's forearm and then held her hands, rubbing her thumbs in soft circular movements over Charlie's thumbs to gain confidence. "Charlie all my life I felt alone, I had nothing or no one who cared, but you let me in to your life. You gave me a family for the first time in the form of you and ruby, you gave me friends and most of all you gave me hope. Hope for a better life, hope for the future. It hasn't been plain sailing for us we have had our troubles and I hope that they are behind us but i know that every day i fall even more in love with you and i want to do that until the day that i can no longer form a kiss from my lips, or mouth the words i love you. Charlie if i can spend the rest of my life with you and if that is all i have then i will be happier than you can ever imagine. I love you"

Charlie was crying she couldn't help but be moved by the words that Joey had said, taking her blurry eyes of Joey she saw most of their guests specially Ruby and Leah in tears. The minister drew her attention back to focus on Joey, "In front of everyone you have confirmed your love, now you need to confirm to each other and I can pronounce you married."

Joey let go of Charlie's hands and used her thumbs to wipe away the tears, placed her top lip on to Charlie's lower lip and sucked it gently into her mouth before slowly parting Charlie's lips and pushing her tong slowly into her lovers mouth, letting her hands run over the soft silk of the dress that was covering the soft tanned skin.

Charlie was lost in Joeys lips she pulled her hands over the curves of Joey's body and was losing herself completely disappointment spread through her as she felt Joey pull away as the faintest of groans escaped her mouth she heard Joey whisper to her "baby remember where we are." Charlie blushed with embarrassment as she looked out at all her friends and her daughter sat watching her get lost in the lips of another woman.

Joey stepped into help Charlie hide her sudden bashfulness, "not that I knew this was happening today, I just want to thank you all for coming and being here. And i believe that seen as this is a wedding there should be a reception going on, so I hope everyone has a brilliant time and enjoy your self's" Joey pulled Charlie into a hug and kissed her cheek. " i love you" the embrace was joined by the arms of Ruby.

"so mum oh that sounds strange to say that, i am so happy for both of you but sorry Jo I don't think I could handle calling mum as well but I think you make a pretty amazing step mum. So we should go and celebrate the official creation of our slightly odd family unit." Joey laughed and pulled Ruby into a hug, she smiled.

"Rubes if you are the only daughter i end up with then that is an amazing one because your the best daughter anyone could ask for. now let's go celebrate."

As they walked over to where alf had started to set up the bbq, Charlie took hold of Joeys hand and pulled her back, "what do you mean if Rubys the only child you end up with? Do you want kids Joey"

"I wouldn't say no, if you were offering to have some, I love you and I want to spread that love and maybe have a big family" Charlie grabbed Joey and pulled her into another hug kissing her partner deeply.

"I want children with you and the whole white picket fence"


End file.
